How Much Do I Love Thee, Britch?

So much I would sit next to cheapskate owner

So much I would wear a tie to some function

So much I would not get fully boozed up pre-game, like I usually do

So much I would take a Zumba class with you when that inevitably happens, my love

So much I won't touch certain areas of my body while we're on camera

So much I would wear long sleeves every once in a while, just because it looks nice

So much I would laugh at Tom Lasorda's lame jokes

So much I would wear a hat. A Red Sox hat. To an Angels game. You know, just to mess with 'em

So much I would not ask out Jeanie. She digs tall older guys who read. Books.

So much I would invite my family to the wedding