Hey Brit. I'm Ova Heya! Ova Heya!

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I Love You, Brit

That hurt so damn much

But they have forced my hand

That hurt so damn much

It's gone for me for good

For you? I have no idea

I didn't read the old stuff anyway

I am shaking I am so sad

They forced my hand

I felt like I had no options

To delete my life's work?

I am destroyed

It's gone for me forever

Nope

ILUB

I'm not a scam

My Favorite Year

(tears up)

1966 - Joe born in Massachusetts

1982 - Brit born in Mississippi

my

tupelo honey

I do it all 4 U

my my my

love

is all yours

if you want it

we get close

as I get close

my voice

gains confidence

and

I say things to you

and them that

I've never said out loud and

didn't know I thought

I trust you enough

to make sense of it

hurt you? no

i can't

but I'm an animal in love

and what comes out

shocks and ahhhhhs

you are my love

Brit

How Much Do I Love Thee, Britch?

So much I would sit next to cheapskate owner

So much I would wear a tie to some function

So much I would not get fully boozed up pre-game, like I usually do

So much I would take a Zumba class with you when that inevitably happens, my love

So much I won't touch certain areas of my body while we're on camera

So much I would wear long sleeves every once in a while, just because it looks nice

So much I would laugh at Tom Lasorda's lame jokes

So much I would wear a hat. A Red Sox hat. To an Angels game. You know, just to mess with 'em

So much I would not ask out Jeanie. She digs tall older guys who read. Books.

So much I would invite my family to the wedding

Britch

I miss my baby
too much
for it not to be true

delusional? psychotic?
no
it's just 100% whole love
for and with the most beautiful woman in the world

(does she know?)

Brit Joke

How many Brits does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

a) I don't know

b) As many as it takes. You can never have too many Brits

c) She doesn't do housework

d) Brit screwing anything is something I'd like to see. Right, hon?

e) Do I get to look up her skirt while she's on the ladder?

f) What was the question?

g) I'm sorry. I really don't remember the question. I remember it involved my Brit and her screwing something

h) None of your fucking business

Yeah Yeah Another Love Poem To My Love

Say to her, to him, to anyone

"I love you, too"

Get it?

Love Letter To Britney

When I have a bad day I need you to console me
When I have a good day I need you to celebrate with me
When I need you, you're there always

Why? Damned if I know

You are in love with me/ME?
No job
No friends
No money
Fat and ugly
Stuupid (yes, stupid)
Old
Fat
Lazy
Nice personality
Decent head of hair on head

And ladies, we're engaged

12

12 Brit

11 Tina

10 Bo

9 1/2 Kim

9.5 Christeen

9 SJP

8 Sylvie

7 Julia LD

6 The Kardashians

5 Kirstie?

4 Kimmee

3 Liv

2 Halle

1 Mom

The Will. I Am.

Why. The. Fuck. Does. It. Take. Writers. So. Long. To write this shit down? I’m just sayin what yall thinkin. For real. Why don’t they get off they fat asses and right. I mean, write.

Where?

toes
arches
soles of her feet
ankles
calves
front of her lower leg
knees, front and back
back of her hamstring, right above knee
think meaty part of hamstring
inner thigh
hip, outside
hip close to belly
tummy
bellybutton
rib cage
breast
underarm
collarbone
shoulder, all of it
tris
bis
elbow
wrist
palm
palm
thumb
index finger
feel finger
ring finger..
pinkie finger
back down to elbow
up to shoulder
in between breasts
bellybutton again
hair
warm
wet
inside
I love you, Brit

Why Do I Love Her?

She's kind. of sweet.
And pretty. Oh, she's pretty
Muscles where muscles belong
On a girl
And soft in those spots
That should be soft

My Brit is
The best thing in this life
And we'll all
Never forget her
And our love

3 O'Clock Blues

Asleep, dead, at 8

Awake at midnight

Bad Dave, boring Mark

Football game too long

Too scary

Where's my girl?

Scared like me

Too long away

From me

Living in a state of hopelessness

High Chuck!

Painkillers? Must be.

You don't have to live this way. You're a legend and a really good dude. People like me love you and have for three decades. There's a lot of life left to live, Barkley, and you need to get your skinny little ass into rehab.

I'm your friend. Bet you don't have many left. But I'm your friend. And I'm praying for you, Charles.

You're welcome.

Tonight, Tonight

Tonight is the night
I'll make all your dreams true
Find me everywhere
You look

I see you, I smell you
I taste you, I want you

My Brit
is 3 miles away
Come, Brit
Now

ILU

Joe Sweeney - Male Prostitute

I'm available

For $1,000 an hour. Oil included. As long as my sweetie allows it

No NBAers. No NFLers. Baseballers? Get serious. NHL? Hell, yeah. They're the nicest guys in sports. Even the goons

Who else would I service? Hayden, Mila, Molly, Meryl, little Meryls, Minka (sorry, dude), and any and all Hollywood blondes

Suck it, NBA

MTV Presents "Gay Shore"

Up to Provincetown for the upcoming summer, the cast of Jersey Shore has gone gay. Not that that's a long trip for The Situation, Ronnie, Vinnie, and what's his name. And the Eunuch, too. That dude's a fag.

You think they'd be up for it? Hell, yeah, they would. Cool. "Gay Shore" may be groundbreaking TV. And bureaus and dressers and door breaking.

Believe it.

Chicks, Man. Chicks.

Reese. Blake. Hayden. Emma. Emma. (yeah) Ummmm. Brit, too

Blondes really do have more fun

Believe it

Why?

We have no idea

For Brittney. I Love You, Sweetie

These are the days of the endless summer
These are the days, the time is now
There is no past, there's only future
There's only here, there's only now

Oh your smiling face, your gracious presence
The fires of spring are kindling bright
Oh the radiant heart and the song of glory
Crying freedom in the night

These are the days by the sparkling river
His timely grace and our treasured find
This is the love of the one magician
Turned the water into wine

These are days of the endless dancing and the
Long walks on the summer night
These are the days of the true romancing
When I'm holding you oh, so tight

These are the days by the sparkling river
His timely grace and our treasured find
This is the love of the one great magician
Turned water into wine

These are the days now that we must savour
And we must enjoy as we can
These are the days that will last forever
and you've got to hold them, in your heart
If you find some error in the lyrics

Kid Rock Rock

He's always been a good guy. You can YouTube him.

And that man has a good movie in him. Charisma, a great voice, fascinating background that's not too well known.

A "wanna be?" No. IZ